


Soup to Nuts

by dizmo



Category: The Lone Gunmen (TV)
Genre: Banter, Characters in Fandom, Flame Wars, Friendship, Gen, Implied Fix-It, Internet Usage, Slice of Life, Slightly Stealth Crossover, Yuletide 2013
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 10:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizmo/pseuds/dizmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a day in which everything is perfectly normal. Up to and including the internet. Langly may or may not have a few things to say about that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soup to Nuts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elf (Elfwreck)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/gifts).



It was a perfectly normal day, all things considered. The weather was cold, but clear. The news was full of the standard stories you'd hear on a daily basis. Nothing was particularly strange, or at least any more strange than an average day would indicate. This was also true for a certain trio whose lives often managed to _accumulate_ strange. One of them had just arrived home from running some errands. When Byers finished unlocking the final lock on the front door and walked into the bunker that he shared with his friends-slash-coworkers, he didn't really note anything out of the ordinary. Frohike was off in the kitchen nook, ministering to something sizzling on the stovetop. It was something that smelled delicious, if more than a bit unhealthy. Langly, of course, was sitting at his desk, his fingers pounding rapidly against the keys of his keyboard as he split his attention between each of the monitors he had in his setup.

Frohike glanced over as Byers locked the door again. "Hey, Byers. Everything go okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Just fine. Got most of what we needed, anyway."

"Great. Food'll be ready in about fifteen. There's enough for everyone, although whether or not Langly'll be able to drag himself away from the computer is a crapshoot."

"Oh, did he find a lead?"

Frohike jerked his head over to where the third member of the trio was still frantically typing. "He found a flame war."

"Dudes," Langly interjected, not looking up from his monitor, "I can hear you. And it's not just _any _flame war. My honor is at stake here. Besides, to not remotely coin a phrase, someone is _wrong on the internet_."__

"What's it about?" Byers asked as he started to put away the supplies he'd picked up, mostly various bits of electronics. "JFK? Energy? Sinister corporate interests?" 

"No, man. Way more intense. This idiot actually thinks it's canonically plausible that Captain Allonius would have known Angela's clone before _Luke_ did. And if they even bothered to _look_ at the timeline, which is _right there_ if you go to _any_ FAQ, they'd see just how completely ludicrous the idea is." 

Byers paused. He suddenly had the same feeling someone got when they were going down the stairs and reached the bottom before they thought they had. It was a bit disorienting and he was entirely sure that his expression was mirroring that sensation. "Wait, what?" 

Frohike was the one who took pity on his bewilderment, though. "He's doing his sweep through the message boards for that one series he picked up a few months back." 

"Oh. Okay. Suddenly the world makes sense again." 

"Or at least as much sense as it ever did, right?" 

Byers shot Frohike a wry smile. "Well, as much sense as it ever did since I actually _met_ the two of you." 

Frohike laughed. "Hey, you've enjoyed every minute of it." 

"Well, maybe not _ev_ \--" 

"Ha! Ten million internet points to Lord Manhammer!" Langly said as he tossed his hands in the air in a brief celebration. 

Byers headed over to the kitchen corner to grab plates, since Frohike was almost done with the cooking. "Is he still using his old D&D character as an internet handle?" 

"In fairness, it's only for certain non-sensitive things. I think he has at least a dozen different identities scattered around."

"And how many do _you_ have?"

Frohike grinned. "At last count? Thirty-six. And most of them aren't even for porn."

" _Oh my God_ , does this guy have any _idea_ what a Space Elf even _is_? What fan-butchered variant did he _get_ this from?" 

Byers laughed and opened the silverware drawer. "Well, it could be worse?" 

"You obviously haven't read his fanfiction." 

"Suck it, Frohike, my crossover where Brian goes back in time and meets Cap'n Toby was _amazing_. It actually had depth and substance." He paused for a moment before huffing out an irritated breath at the screen. "And didn't display the kind of failure to understand continuity that this commenter does." 

Shaking his head, Byers started to set the table. "I haven't seen you this worked up over something online since that one thread about coffins." 

At that, Langly actually deigned to shoot him a wry smile. "Hey, if _anyone_ understands how coffins from really virulent biohazard deaths are custom-made to conform to the body in question, and therefore one-size-fits-all caskets for _reported_ biohazard deaths are a gigantic red flag, it's us, right?" 

"Oh, I wasn't arguing." 

"Nor should you have been, man. Weird to be on _that_ side of a coverup for once, though. ... Oh my _God_ , Bipi hadn't even _met_ Allonius at that point!" 

Byers grabbed the napkins. "Langly, you do realize that we don't actually know what you're talking about?" 

"I know, but just trust me. They wouldn't have actually met until at _least_ three months after that happened, unless you're talking Indigo, and there is no thinking human being on the face of the planet who thinks that Indigo _wasn't_ an utter abomination." 

Frohike more or less ignored Langly's rant and called over his shoulder, "Are you actually going to want any food? Or are you too busy with your crusade of justice?" 

Langly pushed his glasses up on his nose and nodded. "Yeah, man. Just give me a minute. Or could you bring it to me here? Actually, on second thought, don't bring it to me here. This keyboard still isn't the same since the Doritos incident." 

"I thought you managed to get all the crumbs out," Byers said mildly. 

"Yeah, I did. Still, though, it's managed to be weirdly stubborn ever since." 

"Pretty sure we have other keyboards around here." 

"Don't like any of them as much. This one has quirks, but they're quirks I'm used to." 

Byers smothered a smile, glancing between Langly and Frohike. "I know exactly how that works." 

"Laugh it up, narc," Langly said, although his words were laced with laughter of his own. "You love our quirks." 

"Far be it from me to interrupt the metaphor, but food's ready," Frohike pointed out. "Asses to the table." 

"Yeah, one second. This dude is refusing to give up." Byers and Frohike shared a wry look at that observation that went unnoticed by Langly. "He really has absolutely no concept of Allonius's character. And now he's dragging _Moira_ into it, as if she's even relevant to this part of the discussion! I mean, she was barely _involved_ in the incident with the space cuttlefish!" 

Neither Byers or Frohike could resist the urge to ask. "Space cuttlefish?" 

"Not technically what they were called, but come on, everyone knows it. Just because it has a horn doesn't mean it's not still a space cuttlefish." 

Frohike rolled his eyes. "Food's getting cold. Flame war will probably still be there when you get back." 

"Got it, got it. I'm coming." Langly typed what was probably one last sentence of invective, hit post, and finally stood up. Byers smiled and shook his head before sitting and grabbing his napkin to put on his lap. Frohike carefully took the pan and headed for the table with it. They all immediately dived into animated conversation. 

Really, there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary that day. And none of them would have it any other way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the stealth crossover in the tags is for one Ghost Soup Infidel Blue. Langly clearly has Opinions. And although he is in line with the common perspective on Indigo, this author takes a somewhat less acerbic stand on it. (It's something of a guilty pleasure, what can I say?)
> 
> Happy Yuletide!


End file.
